In life, I’ve always believed in being self reliant. Don’t depend on anyone to do for you, what you can do for yourself. Of course, there are exceptions, and at some points you will have to delegate, and trust others, but I will always maintain and say, don’t rely on anyone for your fitness!
Recently, I saw two women who were working out on the elliptical machines. One of them finished and the other one who didn’t appear to be done then went to get off hers and follow her friend. The first one to get off said, “finish your workout then come meet me.” The second one made a dismissive “whatever” gesture towards the machine, and the overall workout. They then saw me looking in their direction, like a curious dog observing the curious humans. They looked at each other, and carried on their conversation, “Finish, I’ll be in the back.”
At this point, I considered going over and trying to encourage them. However, the looks they were sending in my direction was not an inviting one, and because they kept going back and forth about the friend continuing, I didn’t observe an opening without being overtly abrupt, and I didn’t think that this was in anyone’s best interest.
In any case, I can say with complete certainty that these individuals barely broke into a sweat, I was right next to them. In addition to this, they were working out for a very short period of time, extremely causally, with practically nothing behind it. Both of these young ladies are rather obese and they really need fitness in their lives.
In my opinion, neither of these two has the proper mindset (at present time) to succeed in their weight loss goals. However, the follower may be compelled to keep going, IF the friend did. Which brings me to my point here, you cannot rely on your friends for YOUR workouts.
Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying that having a workout buddy is a bad thing, it’s not. What I am saying is that you should not rely on THEM for YOU to commit or complete YOUR workout. As a group exercise teacher, I know that together we can make strides in fitness, but at the end of the day, it’s on you and only you to commit and make it happen. If you don’t show up, I cannot push you or motivate you in the group exercise room. Showing up, and staying, that falls on you. No one will put in the miles for you, no one will punch, kick, squat, or pedal for you. That has to come from you!
A workout buddy can be a good thing, and many people need it. That’s quite okay, but if you attach yourself to a lazy one, or one who isn’t ready to advance, then you’ll get held back. Such was the case today. You have two individuals who are not ready to commit, and though one is a follower, and probably willing to follow someone who does commit, she’s attached herself to someone who is not ready. The end result is that for now, these two will not progress.
If you are gonna latch on to someone at the gym, make sure that they are committed to the cause. Find someone like me, and learn from them. But know this, a person like me, though supportive, does not like to waste their time. I don’t like to invest my time and energy in people who don’t plan to invest in themselves. Make sure you are serious before approaching a nut job like me. We will encourage you, guide you, motivate you, support you, but, the one major condition is that you are actually committed to yourself. Nothing irks me more than investing my time in someone, only to find that they are still eating garbage, that they are not training, and that in fact, they are completely wasting my time and limited energy cycles! If we see that, we immediately drop you! Having experienced this often, has made people like me very reserved in how much, and who we invest time in. So as was the case with the masters of old, you may have to prove yourself by working hard before we take you seriously.
Recently, I had a guy come to me, I offered my guidance, and to help him. In hindsight, I think I may have gone about this wrong, but he thought it was funny and cute to tell me that he did not quit soda, and that he had in fact just bought several more packs of pepsi. At that point, I told him that he should find a different mentor because this was not funny to me. In fact, I directed him to someone who was more of the hippy, hugger, take your time and be yourself happy types. That’s not me, I’m not there to play games, and if that’s what you want, I’m not your guy.
From my perspective, I invested time and energy, THE ONLY, the one and only thing I asked of him at that time, was to drop the sugary drinks. Everything else in terms of diet could remain, just drop the sugary drinks. His defiance irritated me, and seeing as though I was providing my services free of charge, and had already invested a good deal of my own time and energy in the guy, I decided to cut my loses and move on.
You can hire a trainer and pay them, they won’t be on you like someone who is doing it out of the kindness of their own heart. See, the longer trainers keep you dependent on them, the more they can get paid! So it’s in our best interest to keep you as a client. We’ll be nice, say whatever you want, but is that the way you will change? I don’t think so, the idea behind a trainer is to “train” you so that you can fly on your own! I’m built different that way I guess. Also, this is not my sole career, it is my passion. I happen to earn some income teaching classes, but I really do just love to do it. This isn’t paying my rent or major bills, so I guess I can be real about it, without hurting my bottom line. But, many in the industry will fleece you, and can you blame them? Really, can you?
Read this post on the models they use, and how people it up!
Yes, you can find a buddy to train with, or find a psychopath nut job like me and strike a friendship with them. Simply being around our level of energy is highly contagious! But remember this, at the end of the day, don’t forget that if your partner or muse is unavailable for whatever reason, YOU must be able to keep going strong, and you’ll have to do it on your own! It’s the only way to truly achieve success in fitness! Have a buddy, but don’t rely on anyone for your fitness!
The opinions and views expressed are solely those of the author.
Also published on Medium.